Rough Start to my Blog

Source: Rough Start to my Blog

Rough Start to my Blog

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a very long time now, but was hesitant because I thought it might be complicated.  But, i decided this afternoon that today is the day that I will expose myself to the world and face some of my demons.  I am not one who feels sorry for myself, but things sometimes happen that frustrate and anger me.

Hereafter, I will focus on my thoughts, my actions, my encounters, and my ambitions.  So, here goes:

The following is such a story and is what gave me the push I needed.

2015 September 4

I woke up early this morning (just after 2:00 a.m., Sep 5/15) suddenly feeling angry, frustrated, and helpless.

My name is Ellen and I consider myself a competent, loving, caring, and decent human being.  I go out of my way to be understanding of others and to try to bring out the best in them.  I say “hi” to perfect strangers and people I know as I go about in my neighbourhood doing my daily tasks.  I stop and chat with others, always with a smile and good humour.  I try to make people feel better about themselves, to brighten up their day.

Today, though, I feel like I have been beaten up by the Board of Directors in the condo where I live.  I feel belittled and betrayed by the Board.  It’s not often that I feel targeted by others because of who I am and what I represent.  I have lost a part of my independence because no one on the Board asked my advice on relocating the push buttons that allow me to get in and out of the front entrance of my building.

Let me start now at the beginning.

I am a woman with a physical disability, a disability that I acquired as a child and which progressed increasingly as I got older.  Most people have no idea what my disability is and how it affects me.  For years, people have pitied me, made assumptions about me, and generally, because of their attitudes, have kept me from fulfilling my full potential.  Many times I have heard the word “courageous” and “wonderful.”  These are words are hollow to me, though, because I know who I am and I am really no different from anyone else.

I do want to stress, though, that those who know me well do not see me has having a disability.  I am lively, educated, articulate, interested in the world and politics, and will generally be involved in my world and daily life.

I want the same things out of life as others.  I want respect, I want to be treated equally, to have the same opportunities, to be loved for who I am.  I love life, I love adventure, I appreciate beauty and nature.  I love people in general, I love animals, and I love discussion.  I try to be open to others’ viewpoints and understand where they come from.  I have ambition.

But, yesterday I was betrayed, and here is the story.

I have lived in my condo for 11 years.  I have managed to make my own place adapted to my physical needs.  I have an automatic door, my bathroom has been renovated so I can use it independently as much as physically possible.  My bathroom counter is lower, and my faucets are at the front of the sink where I can reach them (my arms are not very long and my movements are restricted), my light switch was lowered, and I had the bathroom door removed so I could easily get in and out with my walker or electric wheelchair.

There is a blind as a door so those who are modest can have their privacy.  My door to my unit is automatic.  I have a ramp that allows me to use my balcony.  The automatic door downstairs was put in for me before I moved in.  This door allows me to go in and out of the building under my own steam.

Two years ago, I received an assistance dog named Tilly.  Having her has increased my independence.  She picks up things off the floor, useful when I accidentally drop my cane or cellphone, or when her toys need to be put away.  She helps me off with my sweaters and jackets.  She gets me out of the house more often, she pushes the automatic button of the downstairs door so I can exit even when I am bundled up from the winter cold and cannot use my arms.  When she has finished eating, she brings me her empty bowl.  She takes receipts from the cashier and gives them to me.  The only thing she cannot do is round up my cats for me.

In the two years I have had her, people have complained about dog hair in the hallways.  My helpers do brush her and I keep her clean, but dogs do shed.  I have my helpers pick up obvious hair clumps.  Most people in the condo think she is wonderful.

A few months ago I got a letter from the Board of Directors complaining that she was leaving paw prints on the door at the entrance of the building.  Tilly has been trained to open doors for me — and this is what she does when I exit and enter the building.  I only heard complaints from one board member and, after a while, I was called into a 2 person meeting and asked to have Tilly stop pushing the push button because of marks left on the glass door.  The marks are mostly in the winter because of the snow and slush.

When I first heard the complaint, I called the Ontario Human Rights Commission to see where I stand.  Apparently, I had to ask the Board to speak to the person who complained about Tilly.  It was the Board’s responsibility to deal with this person.  This person, a past president of the Board and still a board member, had always been abrupt with me and my staff and was less than friendly.  He is all business and lacks many social skills, in my humble opinion.  He is a man who is used to getting his way, and has little understanding of the needs of others.

At this meeting to address the issues, I explained how a service dog works and is trained.  Dogs need to be consistent in their activities and Tilly need to open the door all the time for me so she does not lose her training.  He wanted to know why my helpers could not open the door for me.  I explained that my helpers were not always with me, and that Tilly needed consistency.  We discussed having the push button located else where on the door and I agreed that this might be a good idea, but that it would depend on where else the button was located.

Yesterday, a service man was working on the front door.  I assumed it was because the door had been sticking and did not close properly.  I found out yesterday that the buttons had been located elsewhere.  They were located in places where my dog could not reach (in the corner which neither she nor I could access) and outside on the brick of the building.  The outside one meant I had to stop on the driveway so she could access the button on my left.  That placed me in direct line of cars going in and out of the parking at the back and in a wind tunnel.  I now have to retrain Tilly how to push the outside button because she does not recognize this button.  Her paws go all around the button, but not on the button.  I will have to call the Canadian Guide Dogs for the Blind, Assistance Dog Division, to come and retrain her for this specific task.

What gets my goat is that I was not consulted about where these push buttons were to be located.  The inside one is completely unusable for me.  As I was discussing this with my helper outside, along comes the Board Member who arranged it.  He was not receptive to my comments and dismissed me like I was a nobody.  He was, however, very impressed with the quality of the workmanship of the metal strip that covered the previous push button.

My helper was furious about his attitude towards me.  I was calm at the time because all the ramifications for me had not sunk in, and because I was more used to his curt attitude than she was.

It was after I went to bed and had a restless sleep that I awoke fully and with alarm.  How was I going to get in and out of the building now?  How was I going to take Tilly for her walks which I do 3 or 4 times a day?  I had lost a major part of my independence.  And I do not know what to do next.

That’s my situation to date.  I have since started devising a plan.  This includes writing to the Board of Directors, asking to meet with all of the Directors, and make my situation clear.  if I am not satisfied with their response, I will contact the Ontario Human Rights Commission.  I might even bring this matter up to the next Members’ Meeting.  The only problem with this is that many of the Members are older (even elderly) and so not see rights the same way I do.  But I do not want to really focus on what might happen.

So, that’s it for today, folks.

Ellen